April Fool's!

One thing about being an adult is that in most cases, your day is not set up to learn new things everyday.   When you're in school, it's basically all you are supposed to do.   Learn - and remember- new things.   I like to think I learn new things regularly - like how to solve a work issue better, how to make a new food, etc. but it's probably not the stuff that will help me on Jeopardy!   And really, I'm more of a Wheel of Fortune girl.

Anyway - my point is, I learned a lot this weekend when I stumbled upon Twenty Interesting Things About April Fool's Day.   If you're in the mood to brush up on trivia, try out for Jeopardy! or just impress people at dinner tonight, check it out!

My favorite item on the list might actually be something I already knew about.. the Left Handed Whopper.   Those jokesters at Burger King.  

Odds and Ends

Since January 1, Michael and I have had at least one parent here in Florida.  The number of parents nearby varies.  Sometimes it's just our moms.  On weekends my dad is here.  On other days (usually including weekends) Michael's dad is here.   Periodically, (usually just a couple at a time) Michael's mom may fly to Ohio.  It's a revolving door of parents around here, I tell you.    This means:

-We cook less dinners!  Thanks moms and dads for inviting us to your respective kitchens
-When we go out for dinner with the parents, we rarely pay.   Thanks parents, for your generosity!
-We answer random questions about random topics including but not limited to:

• sound systems and remote controls
• operating European laundry machines
• how to get to (enter name of big box store)
• 'do you need anything from (enter name of big box store)
• when are you going to Disney World
• can I borrow a cup of (enter name of pantry staple)

In addition to the Fab Four (our parents..... are they fab?  I suppose so)   Michael's grandparents and aunt were also here, including a few days of overlap.  It's been a lot of family, but I suppose when you live in Florida and your family lives in cold climates, it's bound to happen.   And it's pretty fun.




Most friends and family members would label me as an organized person.  I agree for the most part, but there are still (silly) things that bother me and systems I have had in place that I don't really like.  That fact that I have systems in place at all puts me ahead of some people, but that's not the point.  I am in the process of making small changes to our home, mostly behind closed doors.  No one cares or notices - this includes my husband- but I may be inundating the blog with before and afters of my projects.  I blame?  credit?  several organizing bloggers that I have recently discovered, mostly Jen at iheartorganizing.   She makes me look like a slacker!  Scares me a little, but also motivates me to be that much crazier.   Beware!


Have you tried to buy a Mom birthday card recently?  They are atrocious.  My mom's birthday is next Wednesday, yes she is a Valentine, and I am having the worst time finding a card.  What is wrong with the card designers?


How's that for unrelated thoughts on a Tuesday?




  

Typing Nerd

Do you remember typing class?  I had my first one in 4th grade in a computer class taught by Mrs. Downie.  It was an Apple II GS and we used Typing Tutor, which had practice rounds and tests, and if you finished early or were really good, games to play!  It was an awesome program.  I always was very good at typing, and at the time credited years of piano lessons that accustomed me to sitting up straight with my hands poised over a keyboard.

My typing skills served me well during school; I typed papers with ease, and occasionally typed stuff for Dad, too!  While most jobs today require basic typing for email, mine doesn't require much more... I use a pretty awesome database that uses lots of mouse-clicking and minimal key strokes.   So you can imagine how excited I was when I came upon a new website....  Typeracer!  It's essentially an online typing competition and it allows people to race each other by typing quotes from books, movies and songs.  I have done a few practice rounds this afternoon (don't judge- Michael has been studying all day and I am trying not to distract him!) and am addicted.  You can race against your friends or strangers.  If any of my readers are as nerdy as me, I invite you to race me...  if you dare.

Harry Potter and the Wizarding World

This post is late in coming, but I've been busy, y'all.  I'm working 40 hours a week, Michael is taking 20 (!) credits at Cornell, and someone has to do laundry and buy groceries.  The blog has taken a back seat.

So in mid-August we headed to Florida to check on our house, make sure the PT Cruiser still starts (Yay!  It does!) and of course, visit the newest addition to the Florida theme parks....  The Wizarding World of Harry Potter.  It was fabulous.  Let me give you a short review so when we're back in Florida next summer (Please Lord, I cannot survive more than one Ithaca winter) you can all visit and see it in person.

You enter in Hogsmeade, where it is [supposed to be] Christmas time (don't mind the palm tree in the center)  The buildings are covered with snow, and the chimneys are, of course, crooked.

And what's a Wizard village without the HOGWARTS EXPRESS?!  The 98% humidity is causing my hair to fly out like crazy.  Or maybe I was just imitating Hermione, with her thick frizzy hair?  Not Emma Watson- she has good hair.  The book Hermione.

Do you have something to mail?  Visit the Owl Post

There are owls in the rafters

and stuffed ones in the window!  Hilarious (don't mind the glare)

Do you have shopping to do?  You can visit Olivander's

Honeyduke's, Zonko's

sorry, I loved Zonko's

After you're done shopping, be sure to meander down the street to.....

Hogwarts!

There is a ride inside and it's absolutely fantastic.  I took lots more pictures here.  I wasn't kidding about the invitation.  Fingers crossed, we'll be back in Florida in June and we would love to go back to Harry Potter multiple times with guests.

Accio Florida vacation!

Monopoly Redesign? Blasphemy!

This...

...is the new Monopoly board.

Can they do this?  I learned this afternoon that the CRAZY folks at Hasbro have created a new version of the beloved Monopoly game.  Evidently this new version, dubbed MONOPOLY: Revolution Edition will be available in Fall 2010, which according to my calendar begins next month.  (Gasp)  Here are the specs, as listed in the press release.

Though the new game still features the traditional streets of Atlantic City, property values have risen to reflect today's prices. Instead of collecting $200, players will take in $2 Million every time they pass GO. Helping them track their millions is an electronic “banker” that also serves as the die, and music player. For the first time, sound effects and music clips from hit songs from five decades, including "Umbrella," "Bad Day" and "Drive My Car," provide a soundtrack throughout the game.

I don't think I like this.  Part of the fun of playing Monopoly is having money in different colors, right?!  Maybe that was only me, enjoying every opportunity I had to color-code my life, even at a young age.  I mean, my dad won every damn time we played.  I had to look forward to something.  Have you ever played a board game with my dad?  It's an experience.  Once, Al, Dad and I played the same game of Monopoly for days.  Eventually he had so much property with houses and hotels, my sister was taking out mortgages on her own properties in order to land on his.  And she was young!  Definitely younger than 10.  So clearly, the colorful money was a highlight among that torture.   Side note:  Thanks to Dad and his ruthless playing, I regularly win all board games I play today.  But back to the game.  In addition to eliminating the opportunity to hone one's math skills, this new system eliminates the die?  No rolling?  What do you do?  Press a button and see how many spaces the 'banker' says you can move?

And getting nit-picky, I also find the wedge-shaped properties to be odd.....

Who wants to live on a lot shaped like this?  And as a side note, they have REMOVED Community Chest and Chance cards!!!!!  Dude.  I cannot handle this.

The 'sound effects' they are including are quite disturbing.  What the hell?  MUSIC during MONOPOLY?!  No thanks. Batteries do not belong in Monopoly, if you ask me.  I suppose adjusting the prices for inflation is a practical change, but this is a board game, folks.  Not reality, per se.  I mean, I have gone to jail countless times in Monopoly, but not real life.  And for the record, in my mind, Boardwalk will always cost $400.  Not $4 million, or whatever it is, adjusted for inflation.

But the most bothersome, and the LEAST OK?  The new plastic playing pieces!  Where is my metal iron?  Thimble?  Scottie dog?

While this is clearly ridiculous, there is a saving grace..... it appears that Hasbro will continue to distribute the original, classic, (correct) version of Monopoly.  I, for one, hope no one buys this piece of junk.  Monopoly is not Monopoly without metal playing pieces, rainbow colored money, dice, and a square board.

World Cup

I am not good at soccer.  I don't really know all the rules of soccer.  I was a field hockey girl back in the day, which suited me just fine.  I wore shin guards and knee socks, but prefer to hit a ball with an inanimate object, not my foot, thank you very much.

But it's 2010, which is a World Cup Year.  (I guess WC and Winter Olympics are now in the same calendar year?)  Truth be told, I didn't know the World Cup was this summer till about a week ago.  I have not watched any soccer thus far, but my sister is keeping me up to date in the attractive male athlete department.  Attractive man are one of her many specialties.

In case you need some eye candy, or haven't drooled on your keyboard in awhile, I offer you this to cap off what I hope was a delightful Monday.  Who is your favorite?  Benny Feilhaber would be welcome at my house any time.

Seriously, Starbucks?

I found out on Ellen yesterday that Starbucks is testing out a new drink size: the Trenta.  Really.  Twenty ounces of coffee at a time isn't enough?  You need 30?!  That is nearly 4 cups of coffee in a cup.  More like a pitcher, really.  I have never even ordered a Venti, and likely shall not be ordering the new super-sized option.  Aside from making you extremely jittery, don't you think 30 ounces is bound to get cold before you finish it?  Especially in those lame paper cups.

Ode to Crayola

This will not be the first time I've referenced the great crayon makers on this blog.  Awhile ago I discovered an online quiz celebrating Crayola's 50th birthday.  Ever since I was a small fry, I have been fascinated by the Crayola 64 box.  Not only was there a sharpener in the back (!), but there were so many colors that could be arranged light to dark, dark to light, or if you were feeling exceptionally artsy, primaries in one compartment, pastels in another, metallics over here, etc. etc. etc.  So many opportunities for color-coding and imposing order on the great rainbow of a box.  I tried to keep like colors together... in other words, pinks and reds away from the blues and greens.  And if you took out three crayons at once, you better put them back in their original places and not rotate them throughout the box.  Perhaps a little OCD?

And the markers were even worse, as the smelly Mr. Sketch markers had a photo on the front showing the 'proper' order the rainbow of colors should be stored in their styrofoam* tray.  (The tray appears to be cardboard now, in case you wondered) You can ask my sister... I would not allow anyone to replace my markers in their tray unless they corresponded to their spot on the box.

In high school and college I had a different color binder for each class, with a matching highlighter to mark the textbooks and to easily recognize important dates on a calendar.  Biology test on Monday?  It'll be written in green.  English paper due Thursday?  That's the yellow one.  I continue this craziness on my post-student wall calendar, but have graduated to rainbow sharpie markers in lieu of highlighting.

What can I say?  I enjoy both order and color-coding.  My sister, forever the AP Chem student, often reminds me that I am abnormal: "Nature is not color-coded or organized.  It's entropy; nature tends from order to disorder.  It's natural to be messy."  But I never enjoyed or excelled in Chemistry.  If I can color-code something, I will.  Markers, crayons, binders, social events, or my closet.

Yes, these are all ribbed (mostly Gap) tank tops arranged by color on a shelf.  What can I say?  Call me if you ever need help organizing.

*Do you guys remember when it was OK to use styrofoam?  Marker trays were made out of it, Big-Mac boxes, Dixie cups.  And call me crazy, but when I'm drinking a hot beverage, I would much prefer a styrofoam vessel to a paper one with a 'sleeve' around the middle to keep my hands from burning.  It doesn't work, folks.  The drink gets cold and I burn my fingers.  One of the few things from the 1980s for which I am nostalgic.  Styrofoam, CareBears, Fraggles..... I smell another blog entry

What rhymes with Olympics?

I can't think of anything. I think it's like "orange" and there is nothing that comes close. Anyway, while most of the country is getting eleventy billion* inches of snow to help them get in the winter games spirit, Florida is getting enough rain to strangle a frog** Good news is, this gave me opportune time to read --cover to cover-- the Sports Illustrated Olympics issue! (And also, evidently, post an anticipatory entry before Pannie! Who knew?!) The Olympic preview arrived last week, but I'm slow. In fact, the SI Swimsuit edition came yesterday, and I haven't opened it to see the gorgeous thin women and their swimsuits and body paint. Gee I wonder why. Probably because in recent days I have been eating frosting out of the container with a spoon. Seriously, I do that. I will 'read' the swimsuit edition, I always do. If only to motivate myself to throw the damn frosting in the trash.

What I have learned from the Olympic issue of the magazine is as follows:

• Skier Lindsey Vonn is kick-ass [and I hope her leg is ok]
• [Speedskater, in case you live under a rock] Apolo Anton Ohno is kick-ass***
• Speedskater Shani Davis seems to have some issues
• I am much too afraid to attempt any of Shaun White's snowboarding tricks
• Winter athletes have the coolest hats, ever! I shall have to get some when we move to NY
• There is a skier from GHANA! Kwame Nkrumah-Acheampong is a former safari guide, which I think is awesome.
• Bob Costas is hosting the Olympic opening ceremonies (AGAIN) and he is a fool who will probably say three more foolish things than Matt Lauer this evening***

*TM Pannie

**TM my dad

***To be fair, I knew these things before reading SI today

New Name?

So I've been thinking..... I might rename my blog. Don't get me wrong, I very much love Pepe. And I also love the alliteration with pontificates... But I'm wondering if I should do a play on words, a la my e-mail address. Something like the Julery box (which I think looks very strange typed out) or maybe Finejulery? It reminds me a little of tomfoolery, which is an excellent word. I'm not sure yet, but I've been thinking about it for about a week. So I'm just saying, don't be surprised if there's a name change in the near future. It'll still be me, just different.

Training Wheels, Anyone?

I realize this is my second video blog in as many entries. But come on, who doesn't love the Muppets? If you don't, please stop reading and don't ever speak to me again. But back to today's topic. My mother sends me a lot of links to YouTube videos, movie trailers, NYT articles, random thoughts, etc. etc. etc. You see, she was a high school librarian for 20 (!) years and it's in her nature to find all sorts of information and share it with others. Admittedly my sister and I do not always read/watch everything she sends. I often let the e-mails pile up and then take a chunk of time to read the articles and watch the videos, and then feel good when I delete ten e-mails at once! I love throwing things away, both real and virtual. So anyway, this afternoon I decided to watch some of the videos. Check this one out! It's a great five-minute distraction and in a strange way, excellent prep for the Olympics, which, according to my Wall Street Journal, are just 22 days away! I know there are no bikes in the winter games, but it seems as scary as ski jumping or the skeleton or something. Enjoy!

Volunteer with the Muppets

Just call me Ebert

I'm not a huge movie theater person... When $20 can't get two people tickets and a snack, something is wrong with the world. That said, we do love our Netflix subscription. And w all know, some movies you just have to see in the theater. Such as Avatar. Over the holiday weekend, Michael's dad decided we should see Avatar in IMAX 3D, so on Saturday January 2 off we went to the 11 AM showing. Along with the rest of Orlando! The first three shows were sold out. We bought tickets for Sunday and saw Up in the Air that afternoon instead. The two movies are extremely different (blue aliens on a mythical planet vs. George Clooney) but both quite enjoyable. I am very glad we saw Avatar 3D IMAX in the theater; it was awesome and highly recommended. It was, in fact, the only theater movie we planned on seeing. But due to below-freezing temperatures in Florida we spent a lot of time in movie theaters in the past week. In fact, in the last seven days I have seen the following five films:

• Up in the Air
• Avatar
• Nine
• Leap Year
• The Princess and the Frog

There are a few more coming out soon that I would like to see sooner rather than later (mostly because of the upcoming Golden Globes and Oscars) At this rate, I will view approximately 180 movies in the theater in 2010. And you can just call me Roger Ebert.

Happy New Year!

I just found a rather lengthy questionnaire on a favorite blog; it seems very appropo for the new year and an entry for today. I realize I have said nothing of Christmas, which was enjoyable and very COLD the last two days, what with a mini blizzard and all. Also I got a cold. But that was 2009, and here we are, launching into 2010. Which is NOT a new decade, media folks. 2001 was the start of the new millennium, thus 2011 will be the start of a new decade.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I got married! (And along with that, bought a wedding gown, planned a wedding, etc. etc. etc.) Michael and I moved into our own house!

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't recall making any. I'm not usually the resolutions type... I say, if something needs to be done, do it, no matter what day it is.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! Molly (from AU) had baby #2 and Alexa (from high school) had baby #1, named JULIA :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. Grandma Bilz died in June :(

5. What countries did you visit?
I haven't left the country in quite some time, though I did cross a couple time zones on our honeymoon to Arizona.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Perhaps a job?! Oh that might be nice. And artwork on the walls of our house. And the Indians winning the world series, but come on, now. This should be a serious list.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Our wedding day, 9/19/09, stands out as the obvious biggie

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Oh I don't know- did I achieve anything this year? I became a wife but I didn't really do anything to become one, if you think about it. I helped keep a single family home in working order, which is also called 'basic living 101'

9. What was your biggest failure?
That job thing, probably

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not until five days ago while I was home. Thanks, Ohio, for the congestion and coughing to ring in the new year.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Oh, Michael would say our fancy pants HD big screen TV. And I enjoy it and can't think of anything else right now, so there it is.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My mother, for planning a wedding for children living 1000 miles away. Lots of phone hours logged on that one. Thanks, mom! And of course all the bridesmaids and friends for assistance in the previously mentioned celebration. Finally, Michael, for putting up with me, and for getting into Cornell's graduate program! WOOOOOOOOOOO

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mostly celebrities... namely, Tiger Woods.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Into Michael's checking account when we combined our money. And also to the Osceola County tax collector.

15. What did you get really excited about?
The usual suspects: Space Mountain, ice cream, Ohio sports teams, taking photos

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Ironically, a song that was not written in 2009.... Don't Stop Believin' as performed by the Glee cast

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

- happier or sadder? About the same, probably. I don't remember
- thinner or fatter? I weigh the same as I did last year, but maybe with a smidge more muscle tone? So technically thinner (as in, less fat)
- richer or poorer? Richer because our two accounts have merged as one. But poorer since we are a one-income famiglia

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Relaxed and enjoyed the present moment.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Flitting about from task to task instead of focusing on one thing at a time. Perhaps I have found my 2010 NY Resolution?!

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We were in Ohio, as usual, with our families. The Sertich grandparents were in town, but Marissa was still externing, as the gang celebrated Christmas in the new house! Also, poor ML had swine flu, ick. My family role call was the same, as was our loud, joyful celebration.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I darn well better- I have a husband now!

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Dude. GLEE!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Tiger Woods?

24. What was the best book you read?
It's a toss-up: One Thousand White Women by Jim Fergus and The Help by Kathryn Stockett. Both highly recommended.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sadly, I am an ignoramus when it comes to music. I do not recall making any discoveries, except maybe the Glee soundtracks, which is kind of pathetic isn't it? I have mostly oldies and goodies on my iPod

26. What did you want and get?
Lots of things! Most notable and concrete: A beautiful wedding surrounded by all the people we love. A new computer

27. What did you want and not get?
I don't remember having a list of wants last year, to be honest.

27a. What did you not want and not get? Lots of things! A nasty hurricane season, to name one

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
What movies did I see this year?! Well, I really enjoyed Star Trek and Up in theaters. And I think we watched Slumdog Millionaire in early January, so that counts, too

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 26 and PANNIE WAS HERE! Also, we had delicious cake.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I am a glass is half-full person and plead the 5th.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Tank tops, flip-flops and a pedicure

32. What kept you sane?
Pannie, Michael, Mom and Al, in no particular order. This is ironic because the majority of people on that list are NOT sane at all.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Same as always: Matt Damon and Morgan Freeman. Yes, I saw Invictus. No, I did not drool.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I hear about so many, since Michael is my political nerd... I'd go with health care of gay marriage. Different issues, but both mind-boggling

35. Who did you miss?
Family and friends we've met along the way who do not live in Florida and therefore don't see enough.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I don't even know who I have met this year - how pathetic.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Jules, you gotta relax. (TM Michael, who has been saying it since 2002. I am slowly learning this lesson)

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
This poses a great challenge to those who have trouble remembering words to songs... "Whatever comes our way, ah, we'll see it through/And you know that's what our love can do" Michael Buble, Everything

Hundreds Day!

This is my 100th blog entry- time flies, doesn't it?! I don't know why 100 is such an important number, but it is. I'm pretty sure I first became aware of this when I was 5 years old. When I was in kindergarten we celebrated 100s day, when each student had to bring in 100 of a particular item; I brought pipe cleaners. Who knows why, but I can tell you we had a plethora around the house for years afterwards, and some weird art projects, too. AFI has created several lists about 100 movies, which are fun but I often disagree with their ranking system. And if memory serves, you have to be 100 in order to appear on the Smucker's birthday segment, hosted by Willard Scott of the Today Show. In addition to these fun facts, 100 is also important in more serious matters. For example, the US has 100 Senators (I did not know this- I looked it up, which is kind of pathetic. I mean, I remembered what I took to 100s day 21 years ago but don't know how many senators we have?!) And in the 'fun and games' department, a standard game of Scrabble has 100 tiles, and once a TV show airs 100 episodes it can be syndicated (who knew?).

Around here, 100 blog entries on a Monday in December don't really mean much, except that my archives list is getting longer. Because I sure as hell don't have 100 readers!

I did not write this, but it's fun

One of my facebook friends posted the following text this weekend. It's pretty funny. I couldn't figure out what to write about today so, voila! Plagiarism. In my defense, I have no idea who originally wrote it, or I'd cite it so as to avoid upsetting my librarian mother.

• I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

• I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

• I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

• The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

• There is a great need for sarcasm font.

• Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.

• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much; it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (I actually know this one)

• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (My mom taught me this. She also taught me to make a lot of noise to get other family members to help)

• I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

• Was learning cursive really necessary?

• Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

• Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

• How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (I have thought this for YEARS)

• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

• I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

• Bad decisions make good stories

• Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

• Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from; this shouldn't be a problem....

• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

• There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

• I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

• "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV.. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

• While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don’t win, they are executed.

• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

• Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

• I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

• I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

• I think the freezer deserves a light as well. (Mine has one!)

• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

BONUS! (or, the interactive element)

Ten points to whoever guesses my favorite bullet point

Crayola 64 Box

I recently discovered what is perhaps the most fun online quiz ever. The Crayola 64 box has been around for 50 years and the nice marketing people have created fun games and other celebratory distractions on their website. My favorite is the "Color Quizzer" which can be found here. I am proud to announce that I named all 64 and am a "certified color genius" although the row of "kids choice" colors tripped me up. I clearly haven't colored or purchased a box of crayons since the kids renamed those few crayons. Rest assured, most of the names remain classic. Does anyone else remember Salmon or Burnt Sienna?