Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Monopoly Redesign? Blasphemy!

This... the new Monopoly board.

Can they do this?  I learned this afternoon that the CRAZY folks at Hasbro have created a new version of the beloved Monopoly game.  Evidently this new version, dubbed MONOPOLY: Revolution Edition will be available in Fall 2010, which according to my calendar begins next month.  (Gasp)  Here are the specs, as listed in the press release.

Though the new game still features the traditional streets of Atlantic City, property values have risen to reflect today's prices. Instead of collecting $200, players will take in $2 Million every time they pass GO. Helping them track their millions is an electronic “banker” that also serves as the die, and music player. For the first time, sound effects and music clips from hit songs from five decades, including "Umbrella," "Bad Day" and "Drive My Car," provide a soundtrack throughout the game.

I don't think I like this.  Part of the fun of playing Monopoly is having money in different colors, right?!  Maybe that was only me, enjoying every opportunity I had to color-code my life, even at a young age.  I mean, my dad won every damn time we played.  I had to look forward to something.  Have you ever played a board game with my dad?  It's an experience.  Once, Al, Dad and I played the same game of Monopoly for days.  Eventually he had so much property with houses and hotels, my sister was taking out mortgages on her own properties in order to land on his.  And she was young!  Definitely younger than 10.  So clearly, the colorful money was a highlight among that torture.   Side note:  Thanks to Dad and his ruthless playing, I regularly win all board games I play today.  But back to the game.  In addition to eliminating the opportunity to hone one's math skills, this new system eliminates the die?  No rolling?  What do you do?  Press a button and see how many spaces the 'banker' says you can move?

And getting nit-picky, I also find the wedge-shaped properties to be odd.....

Who wants to live on a lot shaped like this?  And as a side note, they have REMOVED Community Chest and Chance cards!!!!!  Dude.  I cannot handle this.

The 'sound effects' they are including are quite disturbing.  What the hell?  MUSIC during MONOPOLY?!  No thanks. Batteries do not belong in Monopoly, if you ask me.  I suppose adjusting the prices for inflation is a practical change, but this is a board game, folks.  Not reality, per se.  I mean, I have gone to jail countless times in Monopoly, but not real life.  And for the record, in my mind, Boardwalk will always cost $400.  Not $4 million, or whatever it is, adjusted for inflation.

But the most bothersome, and the LEAST OK?  The new plastic playing pieces!  Where is my metal iron?  Thimble?  Scottie dog?

While this is clearly ridiculous, there is a saving grace..... it appears that Hasbro will continue to distribute the original, classic, (correct) version of Monopoly.  I, for one, hope no one buys this piece of junk.  Monopoly is not Monopoly without metal playing pieces, rainbow colored money, dice, and a square board.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Time Travel: August 5, 2006

In some calendar years, certain specific dates stick out in your mind.  Some dates (Christmas, your birthday, etc.) are memorable year to year, and others are monumental only once.  For example, May 20, 1989 I lost my first tooth.  (I know the day only because it was Nene's wedding day)  Or Easter 1994 was the one when Al had both a broken finger and three stitches in her head.  June 24, 1994, right when I got home from my piano recital, was the night a tabby kitten showed up in the garage.  More on the kitty another day.... perhaps we can make Time Travel a weekly installment!  For me, today is a one-time monumental day.  Four years ago, on August 5, 2006, darling Ashley married a wonderful man: Jason Kempf.  

Fun story: August 4 is the day I met Jason; I walked out of the shower wrapped in two towels (one for hair, one for body) and there he was on the couch in the basement.  Surprise!  Didn't know he'd be there.  Without skipping a beat, I stuck out my hand and said "Hi, I'm Jules"  I suppose that was kind of the initial test.  What will Jason think of Jules?  He likely thought I was crazy, so he is quite perceptive!  Anyway.  Back to 8/5/06.  

It had been more than three years since Ash, Pannie and I had seen each other, and the reunion was all that it should be: loud and full of screams and hugs and general glee.  Not only did Pannie and I get to spend a little time together (with M, too, of course), but we were finally seeing Ash again!  The duo would finally be a trio again.  Good things come in threes, after all.  Now is a good time to point out that Ash was the first of my friends to get married.  Not only had we finished college and entered into the real world with jobs and paychecks, monthly rent and checking accounts, now Ash was starting to BEHAVE LIKE A GROWNUP!  With a husband and a new last name and a big old party to celebrate.  It was a little crazy to comprehend at first, my first friend acting like an official grownup.  It was a lovely weekend, and the start of many summers with at least one wedding to attend!  

The morning of August 5, 2006 consisted of:

Ash sitting in the kitchen getting her hair done.  (Hi Thomas in the background!)

A lace-up corset-type dress worthy of Gone with the Wind

Pannie telling her joke about the grasshopper walking into the bar to stop the waterworks 

The day continued to celebrate the love that was all around us:
Becky and Roy celebrated their 28th wedding anniversary, Michael helped them cook

Lifelong friends squeezed in some quality time

And two wonderful people were married

Congratulations, guys.  Here's to many more happy years together.  We look forward to sharing in all of the other wonderful celebratory moments in your lives.