Leaping Lizards, Batman!

Today was 'cold' here in central Florida.  You know, high in the low 60s, and 40 mph winds.  I had on long sleeves.  The afternoon was spent not at the pool but at the mall, buying Michael a new computer battery and power supply at the Apple Store.  I opted for a new green iPod Nano and a trip to the hair salon.  On the drive home (due west at 6 pm, thank you very much) I encountered copious amounts of sunshine directly in my face.     Little did I know that sunshine was the least of my worries.

Lucky for me, the highway does veer a bit south soon after my on-ramp.   Right around this point of my journey, as I was moving into the far left lane to blow past tourists continue home, I noticed movement in my left side mirror. I had already gotten into my lane, so I was not sure why another vehicle would be moving toward me from the side. I feared for a millisecond that a car was encroaching my way. I looked closer and saw a HUGE brown lizard clinging on for dear life. How in the @#$%$^% did a lizard land on my car while I was driving along at [at least] 70 mph?! Maybe he jumped from another vehicle? Lucky guy to land on a car and not the 3 lane highway, only to be squished to a pulp. Then again, he could have gotten on my roof at the mall, and finally migrated down the car as I drove. Not sure. Regardless, I am pretty sure he didn't fall from the sky.

After my heart started beating again, I burst out laughing. Our eyes definitely met, but then I decided it best to face forward and drive safely again. I did say out loud "Sorry, man. Nothing I can do for you" And with that, the brown spot in my periphery vanished. The lizard was gone just as soon as he had appeared. Sadly, I'm pretty sure he didn't get lucky this time around and find another mirror to cling to. I fear he has met his maker.

How 'bout some beer for the guys?

To kick off Labor Day weekend (aka the END OF SUMMER AS WE KNOW IT up in the Finger Lakes) Michael and I had a lovely dinner chez Crooker, where we enjoyed a nice meal on Cayuga Lake, before laughing hysterically for 90 minutes at a production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.   It was a great way to start the holiday weekend.

Saturday morning we were running errands and heard an awful vibrating crunching noise when putting the car in reverse.  Bad for backing out of parking spaces, fine for driving forward.  A quick stop into Sears Auto Center taught us that writing a problem down on the chart does not mean the 'tech' will even check into it, will lie about checking into it, and upon finally listening to the problem, will declare that it's probably a transmission problem, but they "don't do trannies"and suggested we stop by the local Mazda dealership.  The nearest Mazda dealership is more than an hour away, but luckily other dealers can often handle these issues.  There are non-Mazda dealerships in Ithaca, so this is not looking so bad.  Unfortunately, nothing car-related (except Sears) is open in Ithaca on the weekend.  Not even the sales department.  Want to buy a car in Ithaca?  Sorry, folks.  Only Monday through Friday, till 5 PM.  Wow.  That's a great way to make monthly numbers.

This being Labor Day weekend also meant that a Monday visit was not going to happen.  I work 8-4:30 during the week, and we only have one car.  Could get tricky.  Since were were going to New Jersey on Friday for Marissa's graduation, we could likely swing by a dealership there, since they have more convenient hours, and could likely diagnose and hopefully fix the problem.  It was a good plan.

Friday morning we learned that the NJ Mazda didn't do 'that kind of work' on the weekend and we'd have to leave it there till at least Monday.   Not good, since we need to be in Ithaca Sunday afternoon.  We also located a specialized transmission shop on the same road.  Worth a shot, right?

Right!  Guy took the car for a test drive, put it up on the fancy car elevator thing, and discovered the problem.  He asked "Which one of you was off-roading?  There are fresh scrapes on the under carriage, and tons of rocks caught in the gear mount"  Surprisingly enough, neither one of us had recently been off-roading... but what had we done recently?  Driven down the Crooker's driveway.  It's a steep, windy driveway in the woods, on a cliff, to get to their lake house.  There are rather large ruts caused by construction vehicles and the like.  The little Mazda sometimes has trouble, and evidently, last Friday was no exception.  The nice mechanic pounded out all the rocks, and we were good as new!  YAY!  No transmission issues!

We went to the front to pay and the owner said (with a nice Jersey accent) "What, do you want a bill for that?"  Smarter folks than us would say "Nope!" and then run as fast as they could, but we indicated we were prepared for one.  We were told "A lot of guys would charge you an hour's labor for that, which is $98.  I'm not gonna do that"  I liked the sound of this; we asked how to compensate them for their time.  And the owner said "How about you go get some beer for the guys?"  Seriously?!  "OK!  What kind of beer do you like?"  So we went to the adjacent liquor store and got a 12-pack of Sam Adams, which cost $14.99, and we were set.  It's my favorite car repair, ever.

Travelogue

May 5, 2010
9:30 am: Finish loading the car.  It is jammed to the gills.
10:00 am: Begin drive up the east coast.  Encounter no diversions or delays.  Set to arrive to our destination at 5:30.
12:00 pm: Michael listens to AM talk radio.  I zone out a little.
1:00 pm: Stop for lunch at the slowest, most ridiculous Wendy's, ever.
3:10 pm: Cross into South Carolina on I-95.
3:12 pm: Spot a large pipe in middle of the highway.
3:12:30: Hit large pipe in middle of the highway.  Blow out tire.  Pull to side of the road.
3:13 pm: Call AAA.  Get reconnected to South Carolina's AAA.  Cannot understand a word they say.  Damn the southern accents.
3:15 pm: Meet a truck driver who also hit said pipe.  Learn it took out his brake line and tire rod.
3:20 pm: Notice older couple who also hit said pipe.  Not sure what happened to their car.
3:40 pm: AAA savior arrives to change tire. We begin to unload our possessions from the back of the car into the front seat and side of the road to access the spare.  You see, some genius decided to install the spare under the flat part of the hatch.  So if you have stuff in the back, it must be removed before accessing the tire.
4:00 pm: Tire change nearly complete.  Discover not only is tire flat, rim is bent.  We will need a new tire and a new rim.  AAA tire changer offers to call his shop for a replacement tire.  We agree, while Michael starts calling Mazda dealerships in the area.
4:30 pm: No one has a tire or rim.  Shop owner promises to keep trying and will call our guy back.  Meanwhile, a second AAA savior (from the same shop) arrives to tow older couple's car.  He waits with us as our tire changer is dispatched to another road hazard.
4:50 pm: Shop owner found new tire, cannot find a new rim.  Will take 2 days to get rim to shop.  Best he can do is offer to try to buff out/reshape current rim and see if new tire will seal.
4:55 pm:  What other choice do we have?  We are 275 miles from our hotel stop that night.  Can't drive that far on a spare.  Decide to follow him 'about 15 miles' to the shop.
5:15 pm:  Still following the guy.  Where the hell is this place?
5:16 pm: Call Savannah Mazda dealership ourselves to see if they have a rim.  They don't, but can overnight it if possible.  They close at 6, so let her know by then.
5:25 pm: Arrive at 'shop' which is a nice way of describing this auto repair center with no indoor plumbing.  It's in Bluffton, SC which is not far from Michael's grandparent's condo.  Can't believe we are back in this neck of the woods.  Meet older couple who were also on highway.  They are snowbirds headed to New York.  Learn their transmission is shot.  $3,000 repair.
5:30 pm: If tire wizard can't fix the rim, shop can get us a discount at the Holiday Inn in town.
5:35 pm: Don't want to get charged for initial hotel room if we don't make it.  Call to cancel room.  Spell last name three times.
6:00 pm: Tire wizard fixed the rim.  Tire will seal on it, it's safe to drive.  Suggests we get a new rim as soon as we can, since tires are not balanced.
6:15 pm: Pay $150 for new tire and parts.  Not charged for labor, but that's one expensive tire.
6:30 pm: On the way back to I-95.
6:45 pm: Call hotel to rebook reservation
7:00 pm:  Starving.  Want to eat non-fast food dinner.
7:15 pm: Denny's never looked so good.
9:45 pm:  Arrive at the hotel.  See who got kicked off American Idol.  Shower.  Collapse into bed.

Only in Florida, y'all

Greetings. Michael and I went up to Homosassa Springs to see manatees on Saturday; it was a lovely trip, but not particularly interesting from a blogging perspective. However, we encountered many local yokel Florida types of things on our journey which were much more amusing. The items spotted are listed below and are 100% true and not exaggerated at all. I swear to God.

• A Jeep Liberty SUV towing a pickup truck (not on a flatbed or anything.... both cars wheels were on the road). Inside the pickup truck bed were a 2-wheel bike and a 4-wheeler. This was immediately followed, in the same lane on the highway, by:
• A pickup truck full of plywood towing a car (not on a bed or anything.... both cars wheels were on the road)
• A flat bed truck with a jacuzzi wedged diagonally on the bed. Not tied down properly. Jacuzzi was not covered or anything... the inside, jets, pipes, etc. all exposed
• A Jeep Wrangler with the hatch open, HUGE ladder sticking out the back window. No red flag on the overhang
• A pickup truck with two adults in the bed, chatting. I think one was shirtless, but that is unconfirmed
• A pickup truck with a canoe/kayak sticking out of the bed, no tiedown or red flag visible on overhang
• A school bus with blacked out windows towing a pickup truck. Inside the pickup cab were miscellaneous junk items, my favorite of which was a broken box fan. The school bus was stalled at a stoplight with its flashers on. The driver was a VERY SCARY looking man who hopefully did not actually drive children anywhere. He was checking things out but the light turned green and we got the hell outta dodge

The Never Ending Flight and other travel thoughts

So I said I was going to talk about my terrible, horrible flight experience . But that was Monday and this is Friday and the excitement and irritation has since subsided. And I tried to write about it and it was actually kind of boring. Maybe I'm not in the mood, but maybe it just wasn't that horrible 4 days later.

Also, I just heard about a GINORMOUS storm hitting the mid-atlantic this weekend and thought Well, yeah. My small fiasco is NOTHING compared to the delays and cancellations and other travel hell that folks traveling this weekend will experience. Flying, driving, snow shoeing, whatever your mode of transportation, it will likely be delayed. And I normally wouldn't care about such a storm, since I don't live in the mid-atlantic, and am not traveling this weekend. However.... Pannie is going to be driving to Tennessee tomorrow and the biggest snowfall is literally falling all along her path home. NOT GOOD. I must admit, I am looking forward to her blogging about the adventure. But, seriously, I'd rather she simply get there without incident.

Driving Fiasco

When we got back from South Carolina I noticed my back left tire was low. It tends to get a little low when the car sits and we had suspected a leaky tire. Monday morning, around 9:45 on December 1 I decided I would go to the gas station and fill the tire with air and then drive to Wal-Mart down the road to get a new tire. In addition to the fix the tire plan, I also planned on going to the grocery store, since we had been gone for 5 days, making a trip to the storage center to pick up Christmas ornaments, and get a car wash. Unfortunately, that didn't so much work.

I was half way to Wal-Mart when the tire just blew out. Completely. As in, shredded and driving on hubcap. Luckily I was right next to the gas station so I pulled in and was not sitting on the side of the road. I pulled in and called for a tow truck to take me to Wal-Mart, literally 5 miles away. Meanwhile, as I waited for the truck, a nice man who had been sitting near a landscaping truck w/ a few other guys approached the car with a small air tank, to fill up the tire. As soon as he saw it shredded he shook his head and said "So do you have a spare?" and I checked and I did, but of course, I am stupid and don't know how to change the damn thing. His buddy Tyronne (who was eating a piece of pecan pie) walked over and we started to chat while Chris crawled around on the ground and changed the tire. Tyronne had just spent the holiday in Georgia with his family, and I suspect that's where the pie came from. The tow truck arrived just as Chris was tightening the last bolt on the tire, so I'm sure they saved me a pretty penny, not needing to pay for the tow. I offered them money but they refused and told me to 'drive carefully' and 'have a good holiday'. So nice!

In case you're wondering, I did make it to Wal-Mart, bought a new tire, and did my grocery shopping while I waited for the car service. Wal-Mart is CHEAP! Definitely reccomended for keeping the grocery bill down. I also fetched the ornaments (after moving several heavy pieces of furniture in the storage unit), did a little bit of Christmas shopping and got the car washed. Of course, the car wash wasn't smooth sailing, either. I didn't buy gas and they don't accept credit cars at the entrance, so I had to back up and go inside and pay. Seriously?! Grrrrrr. And, as icing on the cake, I did not wash my hair or put on makeup that day because I thought I would just be at Wal-Mart's car waiting area a short time to change the tire, no one would see me at the storage place, and the grocery run wouldn't take very long. But of course, since I looked kind of like hell, I ended up in 4 different counties over a 7 hour period (no, seriously) and I think half of Central Florida saw me!

Can you get there from here?

I took a trip to the post office this morning, which I know, thanks to Al, is always a bad idea.

The post office is one exit (3 miles on the highway) away from my current home (probably about 9 miles door to door) and I have been there before. But just to be on the safe side, I put the P.O. address into the GPS and was on my way. I notice that the GPS had me going two exits instead of one and don't think much of it. Perhaps the P.O. really is closer to that next exit and it takes less time. Mistake #1: Trusting the GPS! (Some might argue Mistake #1 is going to the P.O. in the first place, but it was a necessary trip.) I continue down the road, which apparently has been rerouted since the GPS was made because the GPS chimes to 'take the exit right' as I am passing the exit! GRRRR By now, I'm positive that my 'one exit away' option would have been best. Now I'm three exits away and at this point, the exits are for... DISNEY WORLD! God help me. I take the next 'exit right' for "Animal Kingdom" where I do not want to go, and end up on Route 192. If you've never been to Central Florida, 192 is pretty much tourist hell. If it's a low to mid-scale chain restaurant (think Sizzler, Golden Corral, Ruby Tuesday) you'll find it on 192. You'll also find a lot of cheap hotels and motels (with outside doors!) and out of state license plates or white Dodge caravans with an enterprise sticker in the window. In other words, folks who have no clue where they are! (At this point, I know where I am but cannot get to my destination!) Luckily it's September and the number of tourists has greatly decreased since last month. Upon driving down 192, I see signs for Celebration and realize I have made a 270 degree curve around where I actually want to be. Fantastic. To add insult to injury, when I am finally stopped on 192, sitting at the light to turn left to get me to the town where the P.O. is located, I see a sign that says "Post office" with a left arrow. Gee thanks. I finally 'reach my destination' only to discover that there is street parking only. Fantastic. Do I know how to parallel park? Not so much! In fact, not at all, really. I can steer the car very well forwards, make U turns (in legal places), and even back out of a parking space. But manuevering backwards to the side? Please. Luckily, by some miracle of God, there are 2 spaces in a row open, so I am able to get the car in with no problem. It takes 30 minutes to travel less than 10 miles East. And I'm in a car, not on a bike.

I am happy to report that I made it to the P.O. only to be told that the zip code was incorrect on one of my boxes. It is addressed to a family member who apparently doesn't know where she lives.

On the way home from the P.O. I have another mishap. Stupid me sets the destination to 'home' thinking surely the GPS will take me back out to I-4 (one exit away!) and back to the condo. Wishful thinking. I am stuck behind an idiot driving 25 MPH the whole way. I channel Mom but do not act upon any negative thoughts. I continue along and notice signs for I-4 ahead. Awesome! I think that the GPS is right and I'm almost there. Well.... Dummy me again listens to the GPS, doesn't see the final 'turn here for I-4' sign, and ends up back on 192. Seriously?!

In summary, I'm so glad I have this really expensive interactive satelite map to get me where I need to go in an efficient manner. I would have been better off confirming my hunch on googlemaps before I left- would have saved time and gas. But then I would have never written this blog post.