Gift inspiration: A Box of Money

In February, my cousin David turned 14.    For the first time in many years, Michael and I were here in Ohio to attend the party.    I asked my aunt if David had anything in particular on his birthday list.  When I was 14, I am sure I had a list and I'm also sure I got plenty of bizarre items that were not ON the list !   I did not want to perpetuate that cycle :)

What a cutie!

Nene suggested gift cards to a few retail establishments because evidently the items on his list were pretty pricey, so he was trying to save up.   Excellent!  I am all about gift cards because they allow the recipient to choose whatever he wants, and negates any possible customer service/return counter situations.   But we have a huge family, and I got to thinking how boring it might be to open a bunch of birthday cards with gift cards inside.   I'm not saying he would not want the gift or appreciate it.   Simply that it might become monotonous after awhile.

Luckily, we were able to throw a bit of creativity in the mix.   I decided I would bring a large box resembling a mystery present, but it would actually be full of cash.   Clever, huh?

First, I determined how much money to give.   This is a largely personal decision and often varies depending on your budget and how much you like the person [just kidding!]  It just so happened that the amount we decided on was divisible into 14 bills of varying amounts.  (I did not give him 14 $1 bills, in case you are wondering!)  But you can do whatever you want - if someone is turning 14 but you want to give $30 and would like them to pop 30 balloons, speak to the bank accordingly!

I obtained balloons as well as the 14 bills, in appropriate denominations, and started to fold them up teeny tiny.   This is key because you're going to put a bill inside each balloon, and then inflate.   If you have a spouse or a significant other, or a gullible younger sibling, now is an excellent time to ask for help.   I mean, who wants to blow up that many balloons?  So poor Michael inflated all 14 balloons for me.   (He then rinsed his mouth with Listerine because he was afraid germs from the money might have gotten on the balloons.)

You can see my attempt at a close-up below.   That's money, folded into a tiny square, inside a balloon.  Riveting!

I inadvertently purchased a bag of balloons that was assorted sizes and shapes, which meant some balloons were really too small to put anything in but water.  [Check back in a few months to see how I use those babies!]  But on the plus side, the presentation in the box was that much more fun.

Since my father is known to hoard boxes, and we were still in the Homestead, the basement was basically my oyster.   I found a ginormous box into which 14 balloons would fit, and tossed them in.   Aside from Michael inflating the balloons, he longest part of the process was probably finding wrapping paper big enough to cover such a huge box.

Now, you could obviously leave it at that and let the birthday boy figure out what the box was all about.   But as luck would have it, Michael and I were not able to stay at the party very long, so I added a nerdy sign on top of the balloons, hinting at what was inside.

It was, coincidentally, the ONLY box David had to open.  I'm so glad I did something different, since it was unique and gave the birthday boy an alternative gift presentation, but with the same result as cash in an envelope.

And if you're miles away from the party but still want to be generous, balloons are lightweight and easy to mail.   Even Oliver approves.

How to do laundry in student housing

• Pester your husband about putting money on his ID card
• Load up the laundry basket with clothing and soap, put in car because it's too heavy to walk to the laundry building
• Drive to laundry building
• Discover front door is locked.   Realize you were never given a key to the laundry building
• Think for a moment and hypothesize that it's the same key to the community center.
• Take basket of clothes back to car.  (Lest my underwear be sitting out in the open on the sidewalk)
• Walk to apartment and get community center key
• Walk back to car to retrieve clothing
• Unlock front door and enter laundry building. 
• Load clothing into machines, add soap
• Stare at machine to see how to start it
• Wander around aimlessly trying to find the card reader so I can pay for the damn wash cycle
• Locate card reader and pay for laundry
• Go back to apartment for the 37 minutes on the machine
• Walk back to laundry building, basket in hand (to bring back delicates that can't go in dryer) 
• Decide to use back door since it's closer to my sidewalk
• Fail to notice that back door is on a raised porch with a step
• Crash into the threshold/step, thus ruining the $45 pedicure I got on Monday.  Skin toe and draw blood under nail (sorry, gross)
• Hobble inside
• Put clothing into dryers, grab delicates and read A Walk in the Woods for 15 minutes while I wait for other delicates to get partially dry
• Laugh at Bill Bryson's writing
• Go back in to retrieve partially dry clothing
• Walk back to apartment with partially full laundry basket.  Realize it's a longer walk than I realized.
• Get back to apartment.  Put band-aid on toe.  Struggle to set up the drying rack.  Note that it is ASSEMBLED, but the top will not click into place.  
• Wonder if wearing dirty clothing and/or buying new instead of washing would be a better idea

Up on the Roof

The Drifters classic indicates that On the roof, it's peaceful as can be.  Well, that might be the case for Carole King, but that was NOT the case yesterday!  Let me explain.

Michael has been in orientation all day, all week.  He is at orientation more hours than he was at his full-time job in Florida.  I kid you not.  So since I do not yet have a job and our non-luxury apartment is not exciting or particularly pleasant, I volunteered to help the Crookers* move into their Finger Lake cottage.

*Do you know about Kass and Marilyn Crooker?  They are fantastic people who we, and our families, have known for many years.  We have laughed and cried with them, skied with them, played countless rounds of Mexican Train, and Marilyn played all the ridiculously complicated music at our wedding.  To give you an idea of our relationship with them, you know how when you babysit your nephew and he's super cute, but he's not your child so you can give him back at the end of the day?  That's how the Crookers are, but on a parenting level.  Not that we'd ever want to give them back, of course.  Michael and I have perfectly wonderful sets of parents and are not in need of other parents.  But the Crookers sort of stand in the middle ground.  They are not family but at times you realize they're not 'just' friends, either.

Anyway, they live near Ithaca, so we'll be able to see them a lot this year, YAY!  During the winter months (which, I think in upstate New York is actually October through May) they live in a regular house in the area, but in the summer they spend their time at a gorgeous place on Cayuga Lake.  It's awesome.  But when you have two places, there's that inevitable 'transition' stage.  You have to move your clothes and food and whatever else you don't have duplicates of down to the lake.  This would be a task in itself.  But Kass and Marilyn decided to make is SUPER exciting by RENOVATING THEIR ENTIRE COTTAGE!  (The exciting part is the renovation is almost done.  So close you can taste it!  I hope to be invited to the champagne celebration party)

Seriously.  They are crazy, but the good kind.  And when I say renovate, I mean renovate.  As one tiny portion of the renovating, everything in the upstairs bedrooms got taken downstairs and piled in the living room because they had brand new floors installed and sanded and stained and sealed and polyurethaned.  (I have never typed the word polyurethane until today!  What do you know)  The floors look beautiful (what?  floors can definitely show beauty) which mean the rooms could get put back together.  This is where my assistance comes in.

Kass, who is on treatment this week, is slightly less of a Superman than normal.  Basically, he has to stop working when mere mortals would have to stop instead of trudging onward.  Don't worry, Marilyn continues to behave like a superhero.  This meant that Marilyn and I were in charge of sweeping sawdust and wood shavings and assembling four bed frames before the mattresses could be put back.   For people with a lot of college education, we're pretty dumb when it comes to assembling beds.  It's ok; we figured it out and we both have many other talents and skills.

Now for the exciting part.  The upstairs stairway is super narrow (a little wider than me.  Probably the exact width of my Dad) and has a 90 degree turn.  Those of you with excellent spatial relations skills will realize it is impossible to get box springs and mattresses up the stairway.  So what's the solution?  That's easy!  Hoist them onto the roof of the kitchen and shove them through the window!  I am not kidding.  Here are the steps, if you are ever interested in repeating this insanity on your own property.

1. Remove screens from north bedroom.
2. Set up ladder along outside kitchen wall, extending to roof.
3. Have Marilyn and Julia** climb ladder and stand on roof to receive box spring.
4. Have Kass and neighbors hoist box spring up ladder.
5. Julia and Marilyn 'catch' it.
6. Julia and Marilyn feed the box spring through the window to Millie, who is waiting inside the bedroom.
7. Marilyn climbs down ladder and walks through the house, up the stairs, to meet Millie in the hallway and walk the box spring to its proper bedroom.
8. Repeat for remaining box springs and all 4 mattresses.
9. Drink some wine when you're done.

**For the queen mattress, Millie will need to join M & J on the roof.  Call another neighbor so there are enough people on the ground hoisting, and another person inside to receive.  

Palmolive: Not just for dishes

Here's a fun way to start a blog entry: I HATE LOW FLOW TOILETS! (and happen to have 4 in my house) If you use more than 2 squares of toilet paper, which I do, they malfunction. I understand that low flow is supposed to be more efficient and use less water. But if you have to flush three times to get 5 squares of TP to disappear, you have officially not saved a drop of water.

Sadly, the typical three flush remedy did not work on this particular situation. I have no idea why not; it always has in the past. So I tried a plunger, which kind of worked because water went down sloooowly but then it didn't fill up correctly. I am a google person, so I googled my problem, and guess what came up? "Boiling water and dish soap" SAY WHAT?!

I figured since the toilet was already not functional, what did I have to lose? I laughed at myself, grabbed the dish soap and put the tea kettle on. I had never squirted dish soap into any vessel but a sink prior to this morning, and I'm guessing neither have any readers. Nor had I ever used the tea kettle in the bathroom. What can I say, it was a day of firsts. Maybe I'll learn to drive stick shift this afternoon! Wire a house! Speak Japanese! Sorry. Anyway, I poured in the soap and the boiling water and let me tell you.... this crazy remedy worked. It also made a ton of soap bubbles in the commode, which would probably entertain the Sesame Street crowd. But I am telling you, it works, and you'll laugh all the while. Laughing is always helpful in frustrating situations, don't you think?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting entry, how to remove soap scum from your shower door! (kidding)